It's weird to start your blog, or in this case your first blog post, on the last day of the year. When I created this site, I had planned to post about me learning computer theory, more on the computability and complexity theory side. But then I realized that when you know so little, what can you talk about? Suppose you decide to learn mathematics and make blog posts about it, who would want to read about you learning arithmetic? If I find it already boring, let alone someone else that would read it.
I tried to think about what I could right, but nothing come to my mind. It's an interesting thing when you realize that you are a boring person. You don't have interesting things to say, you don't have interesting things to teach and perhaps the thing you have to say have already been said thousands of times before by different people. There is a scene in the Good Will Hunting movie that really scared me.
Chuckie(Ben Affleck) is trying to hit on some girls on a bar by saying they took a class together, then comes a random student and tries to make fun of Chuckie by asking him about that supposed class they had together, making some questions related to the course that Chuckie would be unable to answer. Will(Matt Damon) comes to help his friend and puts the random student down to the point of even knowing the book and sentence the random student is quoting. The scariest part is the quote that Will says at that moment: "Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?" (For those interested, you can easily find the scene by searching "good will hunting bar scene", I prefer to avoid linking youtube).
I wonder if I have become that person, one that has no thought of his own. Someone on lainchan said it was good to keep notes, so that the ideas that I have don't go to waste. Perhaps that is my problem, I trust too much on my brain, so that any good idea I have now, I'll never forget it. Sadly, if you don't know what you forgot, you can't be sure you forgot something. It's weird that with so many ways of recording ideas, I still decided that the brain was the best option. What is the point of having good and simple technology, if you still decide to trust solely in a complex system you hardly understand? Well, at least making this site made me realize my shortcomings and how to fix it.
As a kid, I used to be quite creative, I used to draw a lot of cool shit and now, if I take a paper and a pen and decide to draw something, it will take me a long time to think something cool to draw. I wonder what killed my creativity. Was it thanks to spending all the time pressing F5 in some imageboard? Reading boring posts, hoping that someone would create an interesting thread? Man lives in society, even if he avoids on in real life, he will join some community over the internet, so it's normal waste time talking to people, even in some Chinese cartoon picture board. But unlike real life, you can stay in a small group of people that only talks about the same thing every single day. How can you still have interesting ideas and creativity if for years you have only talked about the same thing?
I'll probably use this site for just random blogging, until I have worked out more interesting ideas to talk about. As someone on lainchan said: "Just do it. Don't think it in terms of content that need to be produced. Just put whatever cross your head."